Here i am again

Lord so college just reopened and i feel like it might be a good year ;’) hopefully. i still feel crappy sometimes but maybe this is the year i get help. i hope D:  i seriously need it this depression drives me crazy. i want to be happy like every other teenager. my life is a complete depression zone i just want everything to be normal again. gosh some people see me and think i am so weird they have no idea what i go through everyday. they don't know how i cry myself to sleep sometimes and how i don't even feel like I'm worthy enough to breathe the same air they do. they all have perfect lives. mine is a struggle. i wish i could be like some of them they have everything i want. i have nothing ;l. i am thankful for what i do have but there are things i wish i could have. its not nice to be covetous but i am only human. why must i suffer when I'm so nice. i do things for people. i go out of my way to make people feel special. i complement them all the time tell them  they look beautiful and they look pretty or they’re personality is amazing. i get very few compliments, but I'm thankful for the ones i do get because at least some  people see me for the genuine person i am.